i think my mom watched the whole time
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
