can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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