at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
