DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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