6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
