We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I know her cup size but not her name....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
