he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
