she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
