Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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