no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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