Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
