I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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