Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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