Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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