dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
