There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
