The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
