he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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