Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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