the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Randomize
