you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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