it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
this hospital has no fireball
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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