So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
