careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
