I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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