i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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