Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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