Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
