It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
