you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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