idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
