Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
