how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm bleeding and have questions
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
