You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
