he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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