Only a mothe r could love this liver
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I love having hate sex.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
What drink are we having for lunch?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
tell me about the eggs
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