The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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