This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Is it penis luge time yet?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
