The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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