Nicole vs. Life
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
