Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
