This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
