i already hear my dad disowning me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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