She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
