why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
