We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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