listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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