I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I am naked and annoyed.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
