She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
