How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
